The Neopian Guild HQ.

The Neopian Guild HQ.

Atrox Decor - Harry Potter, redone. Very cool. Based on the Hogwarts system but completely redone with a whole new set of names and people. Quite awesome. *nod nod*

The Neopian Guild HQ.

The Neopian Guild HQ.

~Naruto~Headquarters~Anime~ (anime_junky_freak)

Cool owner, cool site, needs some work but worth the time

The Neopian Guild HQ.

The Neopian Guild HQ.

Star Wars RP guild. Very cool, but I just can't get through the homepage - will try back later.

The Neopian Guild HQ.

The Neopian Guild HQ.

Open Species RP guild

Mysongbook - Folk Song Lyrics and Tunes

Mysongbook - Folk Song Lyrics and Tunes

Oor Hamlet

Oor Hamlet

There was this king sleepin' in his gairten all alane
When his brither in his ear drapped a wee tate o' henbane
He stole his brither's crown an' his money an' his widow
But the deid king walked an' got his son and said, Noo listen, kiddo
I've been killed and it's yer duty tae take revenge on Claudius
So kill him quick an' clean an' show the nation what a fraud he is
The boy said, Right, I'll dae it but I'll have tae play it crafty
And so naeb'dy will suspect me I'll kid on that I'm a dafty

So to all except Horatio, an' he trusts him as a friend
Hamlet, that's the boy, kids on he's roon' the bend
An' because he wisnae ready for obligatory killin'
He tried tae mak' the king think he was tuppence aff the shillin'
Took the micky oot Polonius, treated poor Ophelia vile
Tell't Rosencrantz an' Guildenstern Denmark was a jile
Then a troop of travelling actors, like Seven-Eighty-Four
Arrived tae dae a special one-night gig in Elsinore

Hamlet, Hamlet loved his mammy
Hamlet, Hamlet, actin' barmy
Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitatin'
Wonders if the ghost's a cheat
An' that is why he's waitin'

So Hamlet writes a scene for the players to enact
So Horatio an' him could watch to see if Claudius cracked
The play was ca'd 'The Moosetrap' - no' the one that's runnin' noo
An' sure enough, the king walked oot before the scene was through
So Hamlet's got the proof that Claudius gie'd his Da' the dose
The only problem bein' noo Claudius knows he knows
While Hamlet tells his mammy her new husband's no' a fit one
Uncle Claud puts oot a contract with the English king as hit-man

When Hamlet killed Polonius, the concealed Corpus Delicti
Was the king's excuse tae send him for an English hempen necktie
Wi' Rosencrantz an' Guildenstern tae make sure he'd get there
But Hamlet jumped the boat an' put the finger on that pair
Then Laertes heard his Da' had been stabbed through the arras
He came racin' back tae Elsinore tout-d'-suite hot-foot frae Paris
Ophelia wi' her Da' killed by the man she wished tae marry
After sayin' it wi' flooers she committed hari-kari

Hamlet, Hamlet, nae messin'
Hamlet, Hamlet learned his lesson
Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust
Convinced him that men good or bad
At last return tae dust

Then Laertes lost his place an' wis demandin' retribution
But the king said, Keep the heid, I'll provide ye a solution
So he arranged a swordfight for the interested pairties
Wi' a blunt sword for Hamlet an' a shairp sword for Laertes
To make things double sure - the old belt-'n'-braces line
He fixed a poisoned sword-tip and a poisoned cup o' wine
The poisoned sword got Hamlet but Laertes went an' muffed it
Cos' he got stabbed hissel' an' he confessed before he snuffed it

Then Hamlet's mammy drank the wine an' as her face turned blue
Hamlet said, I quite believe the king's a baddie noo
Incestuous, treacherous, damned Dane, he said, to be precise
An' made up for hesitatin' by killin' Claudius twice
Cos' he stabbed him wi' the sword, forced the wine between his lips
He said, The rest is silence - that was, Hamlet had his chips
They fired a volley o'er him that shook the topmost rafters
An' Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after

Hamlet, Hamlet, a' the gory
Hamlet, Hamlet, end o' story
Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm away
And if you think this is borin'
You should read the bloody play

(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)

Tune: The Mason's Apron

7:84 - Left-wing Scottish theatre group, taking its name from the fact that 7% of the population own 84% of its wealth
Cambridge University Library: 7:84 Theatre Company Archives
'The Mousetrap' - Play by Agatha Christie, running in London theatres since the early Fifties

[1983:] The first "act" of Oor Hamlet was written when I was reading the play with a fifth-year class at Cathkin High School. It then lay untouched for a year, until I saw a letter in 'Sandy Bell's Broadsheet' which I felt overstated the case for singing more ballads in folk clubs. The writer, Sheila Douglas, had made a comparison between the plots of the ballads and the plot of 'Hamlet'. This proved to be the stimulus I needed and I finished the "poem" very quickly. Even before I sent it off, however, I realised that with slight amendments and additions it could be sung to the tune of The Mason's Apron. (Notes Adam McNaughtan, 'WordsWordsWords')

[1983:] [The author] is an English teacher in a very tough school in Glasgow. He despaired of getting his schoolkids interested in Shakespeare. So he wrote a Glasgow version of a Shakespeare play. It's the most inspired piece of songwriting I have heard in many a year. (Iain MacKintosh, intro Münster)

[1989:] Oor Hamlet is [fairly] typical [of my songwriting], from the somewhat laboured pun of the title onwards. The language, like the speech of most Glaswegians, is the local dialect salted with phrases from extraneous sources. The humour is largely verbal, from the outrageous rhymes to the reductive effect of the chosen language. [It] owes something to music-hall [...]. (Adam McNaughtan in Bell, Poetry 119)

[2000:] The theatre of the absurd, Hamlet reduced to half a dozen verses and rewritten by Raymond Chandler with a Scottish accent. There are very few real masterpieces in any kind of music, but Adam McNaughton's inspired reworking of The Prince of Denmark's tragedy as Glaswegian comedy is definitely one. It was written when Adam was working as an English teacher in a Glasgow school [and] was faced with the prospect of teaching the dreaded Shakespeare to children who were, to say the least, highly unimpressed with The Bard and his works, so he decided a rewrite was necessary - if the kids could have the story in their own dialect, perhaps they'd take to it. The result, set to the traditional tune The Mason's Apron, has taken on a life of its own, with a vitality Shakespeare himself would definitely envy. (Notes Iain MacKintosh & Brian McNeill, 'Live and Kicking')

[2000:] The world's longest running play, Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap, has celebrated its 20,000th performance. The play, a murder mystery, opened in 1952 when Winston Churchill governed Britain and Stalin ruled Russia. The show has become something of a national institution in Britain and is as popular with tourists as attractions like Westminster Abbey and Big Ben.

The play boasts an impressive record. It has been translated into more than 20 languages, performed in more than 40 countries, and an estimated 10m people have seen it. But in a business where shows can close overnight or Hollywood stars are brought in to boost ticket sales, the success of this rather English play has left many critics a little bemused.

[...] The show's longevity has not been without criticism. Some critics argue that such a coveted theatrical venue should be freed up for new and cutting edge shows. But that argument appears out of step with public opinion. When closure was once threatened, the theatre was inundated with people rushing to catch the final performances. That was in 1955. And there is little sign the Mousetrap will wind up now. It is part of London theatrical history and home to the West End's best kept secret. Unless you see it, no-one will tell you who the murderer is. (Jo Episcopo, BBC News Online, 17 dec)

The Silver Darlin's

The Silver Darlin's

Between the beggar's mantle and the lights o Peterhead
The fisher lads were heroes and the herring was the creed
The herring paid the factor, the herring fed the weans
But now the herring's gone and the fishing's no the same

The likes o me was put to sea as soon as I could stand
Tae catch the silver darlin's for the folk upon the land
With half a mile o net between the bottom and the keel
And half a score o years between the cradle and the creel

And amang the rigs o barley, amang the rigs o rye
Amang the rigging o the masts all dark against the sky
But the lads that used to work them all, they've gone for better pay
And the rigs that work the oil are all the rigs you'll see the day

So dinna blame the fisher folk for taking tae the oil
For if they couldna find the fish, they'd nothing for their toil
And there's still as many families and as many mouths to feed
Between the beggar's mantle and the lights o Peterhead

(as sung by The Battlefield Band)

[1960:] 350 years ago [Fife] was described by King James VI as 'a beggar's mantle with a fringe of gold' indicating that at that period prosperity was confined to the fertile stretches round the coast. (Earl of Elgin, quoted in Weekly Scotsman, Apr 14)

[1988:] This song was written for the film series about the National Trust for Scotland by Brian and Dougie. It chronicles the fishing industry of the East coast of Scotland - its methods and traditions - as does the Scottish Fisheries Museum at Anstruther Harbour. (Battlefield Band Songbook 121)